To Buy or not to buy women drinks at the club

dewarsRecently I have mistakenly gotten some heat in the “secret society” because I asked a question about how to avoid buying women drinks when is a closed deal and the girl is into you without coming across as a cheap ass.

If you read my book I advise no to buy women drinks. However, I make an exception, if she is into you, the vibe, chemistry, is there and she is not testing your manhood. If you don’t believe me buy a woman a drink that you just met early in the interaction, she will probably stay with you max. 5 minutes and then vanish. The reason is, she does not know you is a beta (provider) behavior, and it comes across as softy/overcompensating dude, this is specially true with really hot girls that are used to all type of gifts and drinks.

I actually have a natural friend, that is extremely successful with women and he stays with one girl the whole night and buys them drinks. I hate his game though, is the most boring display of seduction. But, his ONS are extremely high.

First, in my experience I notice that most women, specially the ones that have gone clubbing, do not ask guys to buy them drinks, specially if the guy has game.

Some others, even if the dude has not game, do not want to get drinks from a dude cause they don’t want to feel obligated to talk or hang out with that dude.

Then there is the third group of women, that want to get drinks from dudes. With this group is where you have to handle with comebacks for example:

Hb: would you buy me a drink?

Pua: Of course do you have 10 dollars. Sorry but I do not buy strangers a drink, how about we get to know each other and if we are cool, you buy the first round i get the second. (This would not be congruent with me since i don’t drink at all).

another answer I like since my style is fast seduction:

Pua: would you still fuck me if I don’t get you that drink?

another

Pua: I do not buy women drinks unless I am sleeping with them, it is just my personal rule.

What I have done successfully is to dance with the girl, after heavy, chemistry, vibe, groping, make out, arousal… If she hints me she want to take a breather and go get a drink. I go with her and stay close proximity while giving her my back. At that point she goes get the drinks and comes back to me.

The problem comes with some type of women, for example the ones that had or currently have a beta (provider) boyfriend or husband, or from cultures like Latin America. These women are expecting the guy they are into, to be courteous and buy them a drink (and no is not a shit test, more like social programming). So the problem is if you come across cheap you may lose them, or piss them up, or kill the vibe and momentum. With that being said this is a very small % of the clubbing situation 1 out of 50 women, in my case. The calibrated thing to do is probably to change the subject, ignore, or buy them the drink anyways, since you are gonna close. But it sounds easier that it is, again due to their programming.

This is a brilliant insight given by a Guru of the name of Daigoro:

 I get where Skills is coming from, maybe because Asian culture and Latin culture are similar on this point.

If I get you right, Skills, you’re talking about girls who ask you for a drink, after showing receptivity and DTF, almost as a reflex, like because in their silly heads they think they need to get a drink from a guy to make the seduction “official” or something. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

Basically, you have one of three strategies:

1. Confront: “You’re not trying to turn me into a sugar daddy are you?” Basically, this should lead to making her aware of her automatic behavior while emphasizing that it’s not the drink but the principle that is a sticking point for you. I would say something like, “I don’t mind buying drinks for my friends, but I don’t want either of us to feel obligated, you know?”

2. Delay: “You must be really thirsty.” or “I was just about to tell you in detail about our wedding plans…” And ignore, change subject, or follow up with “You wanna get outta here?”

3. Override: “Nah, let’s dance/get some food/get outta here instead!”

To be honest, I’ve tried variations of all of these with different degrees of success. The problem (for me) is sometimes the drink question comes out of the frickin’ blue, after strong rapport, when I’m not even thinking about it and the shit throws me off. My default response is to kind of stare her down with an amused look and wait for her to break the silence. If she seems cool and not gold-diggery, I’ll swing us a couple drinks, but it might be a strike against her or not, depending on the situation.

 

^ I had run with 3 similar scenarios during 20 plus years doing club game, one of the girls I fucked, another realized I was a cheap ass and I lost (this girl open me and did the seduction on me). The 2nd one is the one I talked about in the book, she was 10 years of marriage or more(can’t remember), first time out in years while still married, and not well financially. However, in fairness it could have been a state change (which happens a lot in clubs), in other words the iron was hot and then cool off. The 3rd one flat out told me after I refuse to buy her the drink, ” dude you want me to fuck you tonight I need you to get me a drink” after couple of hours together and all the signs there. So, in conclusion the buying a drink shit, is nothing to worry about, with that being said, I am so fucking cheap that I rather lose the girl instead of getting her that drink.

 

 

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