The Ultimate guide to getting and keeping a girlfriend (featuring Revlifestyledesign)

relationshipsI’m going to outline the key factors for managing a monogamous relationship for the kind of guys who read this site, alpha males, not some men are from mars, women are from venus bullshit relationship advice. This guide is for alpha males only and is not politically correct, this is for guys who understand men and women are different and want a feminine woman who will give them balance, love and happiness. At 32 years old I’ve been in the game for a while and have observed a lot of things, I can confidently tell you everything I recommend here is based on trial and error, mostly error. I want to show you how to meet the right girl and create the right relationship, in the post feminist age this is not as easy as it should be, it takes screening, managing expectations, lifestyle design and relationship management tactics. You need to realize that picking up women and maintaining relationships are two totally different skill sets. When it comes to relationships with women its good to remember that all relationships are temporary. There is no foolproof way from preventing them from ending but there is a way of getting the most out of them and avoiding pain. You might be together for the rest of your life or you might be finished tomorrow, the key is to enjoy it in the moment and not compromise yourself as a man by doing things you’ll be embarrassed about later.The first key is screening or finding the right woman, 90% of the problems guys have with women is that they’re dating the wrong woman.
Does your girlfriend nag you to pick up your socks?  Wrong Woman
Does your girlfriend ask you for money? Wrong Woman
Is your girlfriend rude to you in public? Wrong Woman
Does your girlfriend call you at work to fight with you? Wrong Woman
To avoid dating the wrong woman you need to screen hard for the right woman.
Screening women is the most important part of having a good relationship, it is impossible to have a good relationship without a good woman. Guys who failed to screen properly get drama, abuse, disloyalty, negativity, risk their assets and sometimes their physical safety. If I could define the right woman in one word it would be submissive. If a woman is not submissive towards you she will never accept your leadership, your life will be filled with nagging, drama and worseA submissive woman is the only kind of woman an alpha male can date long term, leave the dominant women to the beta males. You can have plenty of fun with all types of women in casual relationships but when it comes to giving your heart, combining your life goals or sharing assets and territory submissives are the only kind of woman for you. You can ignore this rule but you will pay the price with mathematical certainty.  There’s only room for one star in a relationship, and that has to be you, a true submissive only loves whats better than her, she wants your guidance, leadership, love and protection. There is no equality in any relationship, someone always has more power, as an alpha male you will never be happy unless that’s you, you are dominant, she is submissive, when both of you fulfill those roles both of you will be happy. With that said, not all submissives are created equal, there is a lot more screening that needs to be done to find the right woman. From the first date you need to be asking her probing questions but ask them innocently as part of regular conversation and never with a judgemental tone so that you can get an honest answer. You want to know as much about her as possible, about her childhood, her parents marriage, her previous boyfriends, her sexuality, her hopes and dreams, her strengths, her weaknesses, her fears, you can’t know enough about her. You will be constantly listening and absorbing information which will paint you a picture of the woman you’re dealing with. You should have at least 2-3 months of dating and getting to know a woman before you upgrade her to your girlfriend, this will help you screen out women rather than jumping into something too early. These are the most important characteristics to look for in a woman:
  • Dating a beautiful woman means you’ll be happy to look at her
  • Its especially important you find her beautiful without makeup because thats the face you’ll be waking up to
  • A happy girl is crucial for your well being, you want someone who will bring you up, be pleasant to be around and be positive towards your life goals
  • Of course no one’s happy all the time but you don’t want a negative girl weighing down your positive, winning attitude


  • You want someone you don’t have to work to be around, someone with the same sense of humour, interests and lifestyle
  • As a feminine woman though she will generally love babies, animals and cute things that you don’t care about, this is something you’ll have to indulge, there just needs to be common ground
  • This means you have to be compatible sexually as well, to be monogamous with someone, the sex needs to be good, for both you and her, sex is usually the first thing to go in a relationship
  • You want to hear that she has long term female friendships, doesn’t talk behind peoples back and hasn’t cheated on a boyfriend
  • A lack of female friends is a major red flag, it means she’s probably crazy and untrustworthy around other women’s men
  • A girl won’t always tell you if she’s cheated but many do, that makes it easy to screen them out
  • You can never be sure a girl won’t cheat on you but you want to decrease the probability as much as you can
Medium Self Esteem
  • A medium self esteem woman is the perfect girlfriend, she’s balanced without being arrogant or self hating
  • Low self esteem women don’t think highly of themselves, and will drag you down into their negativity
  • High self esteem women take compliments well but think too highly of themselves generally bordering on arrogance, chances are they won’t be willing to submit to your leadership
  • A good test is giving her a compliment, if she smiles and accepts it generally you’re dealing with a medium self esteem woman


  • Feminine women tend to dress well, are more likely to be sweet, gentle and strongly value interpersonal relationships as opposed to masculine women who are career driven, assertive and rough, nothing you want for a long term relationship
  • She compliments your aggressive, masculine nature with a loving, feminine nature
  • She’s eager to please, this means that it literally makes her happy to make you happy
  • A feminine woman makes you feel like a man, you feel stronger around her because she builds you up not brings you down
  • She makes you want to take care of her and brings out the protective, nurturing side of you
  • The ideal girlfriend is sweet, pleasant to be around and nurturing, this is even more important if you’re considering having kids with her, you want a woman who would make an ideal mother
  • She’s never rude or sarcastic to you or others, especially in public, as a man you definitely don’t tolerate disrespect from your girlfriend, you find rudeness in women disgusting


  • Submissive women want a confident, dominant man to take charge and lead inside and outside the bedroom, this means leading her emotions, offering guidance on her life and setting up activities for the two of you
  • If you want to read another solid article about finding submissive women check out what Victor Pride wrote over here.
  • A submissive woman will be gentle, easy-going and rarely test you unless it’s an important issue this is what you want, as opposed to dominant woman who will constantly be testing your frame with teases, insults and questions to see what you’re made of
  • She accepts that you and your mission comes first and everything else comes second, this means shes not whining about the time you spend working on your mission or getting in your way, but rather supporting you towards greatness
  • She doesn’t try to compete with you in the material world, her goals are loving relationships, a happy family and children


  • Love-based women are motivated by having meaningful loving relationships, they tend to have close friends and family and a history of long-term relationships, this is the type of woman you want
  • Pleasure-based women are thrill seekers, they will tend to like adventure, drugs, sex, partying and having fun, they make great fuck buddies but should be avoided as girlfriends unless you like a ton of drama
  • Status-based women are concerned about their rank in society, they strongly value money, power, looks and connections, they should be avoided as well for anything more than casual fun
  • A love-based woman has a low number of sexual partners, this means she hasn’t separated sex from emotion and is able to pair-bond more strongly than a promiscuous girl
  • She cares much more about family then career, love and family makes her happy, this means you won’t be trying to force a girl away from her fabulous life of being a corporate slave
  • A love-based woman will NOT ask you for money, I can’t stress this enough, she might allow you to take care of her or be happy with nice gifts but she will not ask you for money or expensive things, any girl who asks you for money is status based and should be screened out immediately


  • Non-dramatic women will handle negative situations with appropriate emotions as opposed to screaming, damaging property or threats
  • Her response to problems with you will usually be sadness over anger which is much more manageable

Well Raised

  • A woman’s relationship with her father is the primary factor in determining how she will interact with the men in her life
  • A good relationship with her father means she will most likely treat you well
  • A bad relationship with her father means that she will eventually project her issues with him on to you
  • Its also important to note how she gets along with her mom, although less important than her dad, you want to hear she has a great relationship with both
  • A girls relationship with her parents shapes who she is, if she suffered emotional, physical or sexual abuse she should be avoided, although that sounds harsh, unfortunately most people don’t recover from that kind of childhood


  • Her relationship history is a good indicator of her future relationships, if she has a long history of casual sex and short term relationships then she would be a great fuck buddy
  • For a monogamous girlfriend you want a long history of monogamy


  • In general, the relationship of a women’s parents will define her relationships as she will internalize a lot of her mothers behavior towards her father
  • If a woman comes from a patriarchy, chances are she will expect that kind of relationship for herself, this is the type of family you want her to come from
  • This means you won’t have to educate her that you are the man and she is the woman
  • This means she cooks and cleans naturally and so does her mother, this means if you do choose to get married (with a strong pre-nup and your assets located offshore) it won’t even be a question of who cooks and cleans
  • Being a traditional woman, she doesn’t identify as a feminist, a woman who identifies feminist will always resent being told what to do by a man
  • A feminist will be proud to “call you out on your bullshit” so unless you want a lifetime of that, avoid them like the plague
Middle Class
  • Middle class women are down to earth and ideal for long term relationships
  • A lower class girl will be too rough and difficult to relate to whereas a girl from the upper classes will be spoiled, expensive and not appreciate the sacrifices you need to make for your success
  • Middle class girls are the most grounded and as an ambitious guy you can bring her to a higher standard of living that she will admire you for

Mentally Healthy

  • A mentally healthy woman will have strong coping mechanisms and a lack of self-destructive behaviors, this is what you need
  • A mentally unhealthy woman will have weak coping mechanisms and a history of some or all of the following; eating disorders, abuse, depression or self-injury, if she has any history of these that is a huge red flag


  • A possessive woman will be jealous, insecure and constantly needing reassurances of fidelity
  • A secure, will be trusting and secure in the relationship, pick her
Does it seem like this is a long list?
Thats because it is.
Does it seem like its hard to find the right girlfriend?
That’s because it is, especially in post-feminist North America where woman act like men and men act like women
The second key is to know what the right relationship looks like and how to manage it. A lot of guys don’t have a picture of what a good relationship should look like, or they’ve internalized a negative model of their parents relationship and pursue that. A good relationship is happy and fun with low drama, good sex, love and trust. The keys to creating a good relationship are screening, managing expectations, lifestyle design and using the right relationship management tactics. A good relationship is a traditional relationship with traditional sex roles and expectations, if you want a non-traditional relationship, date a feminist and watch her lecture you on misogyny, the oppressive patriarchy and rape culture. If you want a traditional marriage, marry a traditional woman who will take care of your kids happily, if you want a non-traditional marriage, marry a career woman who will put her job before her family and get a non-traditional result, a divorce. Before starting a relationship its important to manage expectations, both hers and yours and make sure your agendas are aligned.
Managing Expectations
In every relationship women will have expectations and so will you, you need to be upfront with those, you also need to know that a woman will not always be upfront with hers in order not to scare you off. A traditional woman who loves you will want marriage and kids. She’ll also want to go on dates once or a week or once every two weeks, talk about her day for about 30 minutes, have you spend time with her family and friends, accompany her to social functions, communicate daily and have good sex and cuddling at least a few times a week. She’ll want you to support her emotionally, protect her physically and earn a decent living or be ambitious towards success, all girls want to be with a winner.
Your Agenda
  • Loyalty: If she cheats or betrays you in any way, its over, no exceptions
  • Submission: You’re the leader of this relationship, she happily submits to your decisions
  • Sex: You need consistent sex, she should know that if she starts denying you sex you will lose interest in being in a relationship with her and find it somewhere else
  • Good Behavior: That means for the majority of the time you expect her to be happy, loving, affectionate, loyal and fun
  • Attractiveness: You expect her to stay fit, dress well and take care of herself, by not doing these things it means she doesn’t respect you enough to try to impress you anymore
  • You then need to decide what else you expect from her and the relationship, I can’t define this for you but make sure she knows what you expect BEFORE you get in a relationship and agrees to it
Her Agenda 
  • Monogamy: Girls do not handle open relationships very well, especially traditional ones, she will expect you to be monogamous, or at the very least, discreet
  • Emotional Support: Girls love for men to be able to take care of them emotionally, lead her emotions to positive things and support her in times of stress
  • Financial Support: Traditional woman will allow you to take care of them financially, but a good one will NOT ask you for money, you have to decide in advance how much or how little you want to support her
  • Escort: This means accompanying her to social functions, you have to decide in advance how often you plan on doing these things
  • Protection: This means protect her from physical threats, every alpha male reading this should be to able do this
  • Sex: She will want good sex as much as you do
  • Guidance: A submissive girl is going to be happy to be led by a competent, ambitious guy, you want to build her up and have her feel great about herself and her future
  • Children: Every traditional girl wants a family of her own and you might too, however you need to make sure you’re on the same timeline, you might want kids ten years from now and she might want them today, you need to make sure you’re not in conflict on this one
Once you have your agendas in sync its time to start building a great lifestyle:
Lifestyle Design
Being in a relationship means taking the world on together. You want to create the best possible reality for you and her, here are some key points for building a great life together:
Healthy Living
  • Don’t get fat and lazy like lots of couples do
  • Be healthy, active and moving up in life

Good Food

  • Good food is key, you should have a few good spots around you for takeout and get her to cook for you, it will make both of you happy
  • You should have some dessert, ice cream, candy and popcorn on hand for watching with movies/shows

 Good Media

  • This means you should have good movies and tv shows lined up for when she comes over or if she lives with you
  • Good tools for this are a chromecast or mini pc hooked up to your tv
  • If you’re seeing a girl consistently its a good idea to find a show you both like, with a deep catalogue of episodes, this makes it easy to decide what to watch when she’s over
Good Sex
  • Sex is a bonding experience, its super important for keeping her attracted to you and vice versa
  • Unfortunately as guys its really easy to get bored of fucking the same woman, especially if you’ve experienced years of being a player
  • To keep from getting bored you need to quit porn, quit masturbation and keep ejaculations to a minimum
  • Its important to turn away from the dopamine rush of masturbation and porn, this will make your girlfriend even less interesting and lead to losing feelings for her or cheating
  • By keeping your ejaculations to a mininimum, you will be constantly attracted to her and your mood and vitality will be much higher making you happier to be with her
  • Love is at least 50% lust and you want your vitality and attraction to her to be consistently strong, not like after you cum when all you want is for her to stop talking so you can go to sleep
  • Focus on sex as more of a bonding experience as opposed to orgasm chasing and you can access amazing states of consciousness, tantric sex and karezza are two really cool options

Good Social Life

  • Make sure you have similar interests, friends, and mutual respect from both peer groups
  • Socializing should be fun for both of you
  • If you hate her friends its going to be pretty hard to hang out with them
  • Talk about your ambitions, let her be part of them, let her help you with them
  • Your ambition and drive for success will be a turn on for her
  • Build her up with compliments and lead her to her goals
  • See her as her ideal self and she’ll love you for it
  • Be fun and joke with her, all submissive girls like to be teased
  • This can mean, tickling, playfighting, joking or doing impressions, be silly together
  • When you have a girlfriend you will spend more money, thats just how it is
  • Girls love going out and you should like it too, expect maybe once a week or once every couple of weeks to take her out for dinner and a movie.
Once you have the right lifestyle set up its important to know how to manage the relationship, with power comes responsibility.
Relationship Management Tactics
As the leader of the relationship you want to keep a cool head and actively solve problems. Its you’re responsibility to lead with maturity, if there are problems in the relationship its you’re responsiblity to address them. Here are the key tactics for managing your relationship:

Know Your Role

  • Put yourself first, stay dominant and lead, submissives will always love strong men
  • This means be a man and follow your mission, this is what attracted her to you in the first place and what will continually make you attractive
  • Be self reliant and problem solve don’t being weak and whiny
  • Eradicate neediness and jealousy from your life, be strong and secure
Keep Yourself Attractive
  • That means working out consistenly and staying fit, just because you have a girlfriend doesn’t mean you can start to get fat and lazy
  • Dress well, women will always love a sharp dressed man in the same way men love well dressed women
  • Do this for yourself first and her second
  • Communication is extremely important for woman and is important in a successful relationship
  • This means knowing her inside out, knowing what shes thinking before she says it, this will bond her tightly to you, it also means you know when she’s lying and will call her out on it, stay observant
  • If either of you have a problem, try and address it logically and offer a solution but limit relationship talks to a minimum
  • Actively listen to what she has to say, girls need to talk about their day, give her at least 20 minutes every day to do this
Gentle Correction
  • This is the first method you use when she does something you don’t like
  • You tell her “Hey, I really don’t like when you do x behavior, I would really appreciate if you didn’t do it anymore”
  • If she accepts the correction, then you give her a quick hug and a kiss and move on to something else

Strong Correction

  • Use strong correction when either gentle correction fails, or she accepts gentle correction but constantly repeats the same negative behavior
  • This means stern look, raising your voice (not yelling) and aggressively verbally challenging her behavior
  • This should be used sparingly because its upsetting for her and if you’ve screened properly gentle correction should be enough
Ending The Relationship
For the most part ending the relationship is a decision that will fall to you. If you let a submissive end the relationship that means you’ve waited too long, submissives usually don’t take the initiative and for her to end it means she’s been unhappy for a long time, something you should have noticed. If you have to end a relationship do it quickly and firmly, like taking off a bandaid, and remember you can’t be friends after. Here are the reasons for ending a relationship:
  • She is no longer fulfilling your agenda despite the correction you’ve given her, that could mean cheating, withholding sex, drama, nagging or any other condition that’s unacceptable to you
  • When either of you loses attraction
  • When your agendas change or become incompatible


The author writes for Revolutionary Lifestyle Design where he covers red pill self-development for men by offering tested lifestyle design strategies. Feel free to connect with him via email
Categories: Seduction Insights

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